I have joined the ranks of binky bitch. Oh, how I identified with Jennifer and her love/hate relationship with her daughter’s binky. On Friday, I finally broke down, sick of being used as a human pacifier, and tried to convince Arlo to take the next best thing. Because I was tired. And because I actually enjoy wearing shirts. I had convinced myself that this time around I was going to be a good little militant breastfeeder (All suckling should occur at the breast, dammit! I will surely be kicked out of the LaLeche League now…) and refuse the seductive lure of the binky. As with so many other things that bring me a few moments peace though, I gave in. Even though he still prefers the real thing, Arlo did take the soother for long enough to allow his daddy to rock him to sleep. And Lefty and Mrs. Right loudly rejoiced during their brief period of freedom. They read magazines. Sipped gin and tonics. And practically wept with sweet relief.
It’s not that I have anything against soothers in principle. They come in mighty handy when, say you’re driving and you can’t stretch your boob all the way to the back seat to plug your child’s insanely loud cry-hole. I do, however, have a big problem with what my in-laws call the soother. Ah, the Newfoundlanders and their colorful vocabulary. There it’s not a pacifier. A soother. Or a binky. It’s a dumb tit. So now in the interest of my own self-preservation, I’ve become my son’s soother slave. Or, by Jen’s definition, his “dumb tit bitch” (ooh, the pervy Google hits I’m going to get for that one should be entertaining).
Maybe I’m just uptight, but this nasty word makes me shudder every time I hear it. I will now make it my mission to never let the in-laws witness my boy using his, ahem, soother. Does anyone have a more fascinating nickname for the pacifier than dumb tit? Please to be letting me know in the comments.
My dad always called it a “plug.”
Which, after I became a mother, suddenly made sense.
Patsy. It’s a mishearing of paci.
A soother was my best buddy. It saved our sanity more than a thousand times.
hahaha!!! I loved the ‘insanely loud cry hole’ heehee
Marlene calls it a toot (I have no idea why), and we call is a soothie or a suce (french).
Embrace the soother, Andi. There is no reason why all sucking should be at the breast. Even the La Leche people say after 6 weeks it’s A-OK.
I gave my first a ‘doh doh’ at 3 weeks – and she went on to breastfeed for 17 months – she and I both did well out of that situation. My son has found his thumb so the ‘binky’ is superfluous.
Ha! Welcome to the club. I’d like out of this damn club, but since you’re here now, maybe I’ll stay awhile!
You dumb tit bitch, you!
Nope we just call it a binky.
Who knew that it had so many names!
My husband is from Pakistan and they call it a “nipple.” I have begged and pleaded, but I still always hear,
“Oh, where did you nipple go?”
“You really like your nipple, don’t you?”
“I’ve got your niiiiipppppllllleeeee!” (in a sing-song voice)
It’s just weird.
LOL. I don’t think I could come up with ANYTHING more fascinating than “dumb tit”.
Hey dumb tit bitch from the Island!
My youngest son named it a “tit tat”. We have no idea why. But he did drop the tit part and just called it a tat. Imagine if he had dropped the tat part. But no, tat it was and that’s what we called it. Before he named it, we were very uncreative and called it a pacy.
Please let us know what nasty perv hits you get thanks to this post!
The in laws call it a plug.
A plug it is.
I called it Bink.
Bink and I had our own tradgic parting.
It’s still a fresh wound.
But yippie that the girls got a break.
I always call it a sucky. But then I don’t actually have a child, so there is little need to go around saying it over and over again. I kind of like binky.
We called it a sookiaki in our house. It’s me Larsen. Hi Anya, miss ya!
ahahahahaha! dumb tit. that’s funny.
i have friends who call is a sussy. or a suss. (rhymed with puss in boots) drives me batty.
isabella calls hers a papi…instead of a paci. it’s kind of funny, actually
Wow. Who knew it went by so many names?
Sarah – It has been embraced, my friend. Gotta give the ladies a break from nursing the little man to sleep and give daddy some quality rocking chair time.
Jennifer – Thanks for staying in the club. I may need some company.
BRash – The nipple thing was too priceless!
Heather – Tit tat? Awesome. And yes, I will be compiling disgusting Google searches and sharing them shortly.
Moosh – Hope you will soon get over your and Bink’s tragic parting…
I’m valiently refusing to go total perve on this post.
Damnit, I’m a male. Cut me some slack about even mentioning being pervy. I’m divorced, I’m not dating…
But I WILL say that I’m glad you can’t stretch your…um…teat all the way to the backseat of your car.
It brings up an interesting question, though. Did ElastiGirl (the Incredibles) ever need to use pacifier in the car? My hunch is the answer is “no.”
we call it a bink. sometimes i slip and call it a paci. i’ve heard it called nuk-nuk and dum-dum. never dumb tit. i hope i never do again.
my bug wouldn’t take a bink for 5 weeks or so. at first i was so proud i was fulfilling all her needs. then i started to feel like a machine. a very sore machine. i admit i was happy when she finally accepted a bink. she’s not addicted to it, though, like my first was. that’s good, too.
Call it a fucking lifesaver! It’s not like Arlo is going to take it to University…he will lose interest in “not the real thing” before you know it. Dumb Tit my ass, there’s nothing dumb about our “girls”! Damn Newfies and their stupid names!