Since I have zero creative blog content (I know you’re shocked), please enjoy the following things that flew out of Elliot’s mouth this past week (happily, all of them harmless words and none of them vomit).
1. Elliot has discovered the joy of Knock Knock jokes. Sadly, she is too young to understand the word-play involved, so her jokes… well, they suck. She seems to think they’re funny, though. Witness the following joke session at a recent dinner at Jay’s aunt’s house:
Elliot: Knock knock.
Everyone else: Who’s there?
Elliot: Daddy.
Everyone else: Daddy who?
Elliot: Daddy peed in his pants! Insert Elliot’s fake-sounding, stage laughter here.
Repeat that joke with everyone at the table either peeing or pooping their pants and you pretty much have the summary of dinner - well, besides the one moment where her cousin tried to start the joke and Elliot informed her, “No! I’m knocking!”
2. Elliot: Daddy, come to my room. I need to talk to you about someting.
Jay: What do you need to talk to me about?
Elliot: I don’t know.
3. Elliot prefers a liquid diet to a solid one. When we go out to eat, she gulps her chocolate milk and leaves very little room for actual food. This past week we ate out for lunch twice and both times (damn you, childless and clueless waitresses!) the staff had the courtesy to ask Elliot if she wanted a drink refill. Both times I said, “No thanks. She’s fine.” And both times, Elliot smiled sweetly at the waitress and said, “No. I’m not fine.”
her jokes aren’t funny? then why am i laughing my ass off?
i heart elliot.
I love the knock knock jokes…they are so funny to them!
Welcome to the land of strange child knock knock jokes. The words are corny, but the drinks are not.
“I’m not fine!” Hee hee.
Shark went through the making up jokes thing. They were horrible. We were obligated to laugh lest he be offended.
“I’m not fine.” - Good one.
Oh my…her and Emma could be twins. Seriously.
I truly believe childless waitresses are out to get mothers….refills go right along with “Would you like dessert??”
I feel your pain with the knock knock jokes. Allie recently discovered them, and if I hear the Joe Mama one again..I’m gonna stroke out.
AH! I love the knock knock jokes! My girls do them too, and it’s so funny when they get each other going. Their jokes make zero sense, but they’re SO funny!
I don’t get it… what’s not funny about “Daddy peed in his pants!”???
I’m glad to see your daughter has your sense of humor. Not everyone would appreciate the nuances of such subtle wit.
Knock knock. Who’s there? Andi. Andi who? And de winner is Elliot !
“No, I’m not fine.” HA! I must meet this little comedienne!
LOL! I think they’re funny, but I wasn’t trying to eat at the time….
But I also thought the Joe Mama one was funny too, so I guess I’m in a silly mood tonight.
I think they are really funny too. Book her at the Comedy Store! Two chocolate milk drink minimum though…!!
OK, I’m a sucker for the knock-knock jokes too, just because the little people get so tickled at themselves.
(I’ve thought I was pretty funny myself on occasion, but said occasion usually involved much vodka or bourbon.)
I can relate to #3. My son who is 2.5, seems to drink even more than me. Each time when we eat out, I have to make sure I order some drink that he doesn’t particularly like, so that he will drink less!!