After several days offline, I’m back, my pretties. I finally managed to escape the avalanche of princess crap that invaded my festive home to bring you this enlightening post. I know you’re just dying to hear how my Christmas was, so here you go.
The highlight of Christmas Eve was seeing Elliot dress up in her wedding garb that her auntie gave her. When she opened it, she squealed, “It’s my wedding day!” I thought her uncle was going to stop breathing when he saw her throw the garter belt on (a garter belt!) and tell him without hesitation that she was going to marry mommy.
God, I hope it’s not a shotgun wedding.
Elliot awoke Christmas morning sure that Santa had not arrived because she hadn’t heard anything. Jay told her to check her stocking at the end of her bed and sure enough, it was overflowing. After discovering her stocking and presents under the tree, she changed her story to say that she actually heard Santa in the night falling on his bum.
Elliot was bombarded with an insane amount of presents. After the marathon of unwrapping, I felt how Jenny described in this brilliant post, and I vowed to buy a few less things next year. It really was ridiculous. Elliot even said, “Santa gave me lots of presents!” Her favorite presents were probably her laptop and her digital camera.
Now I’ll have photographic proof for all my crazy stories.
While we soaked up the excitement of our three-year-old, Jay and I tried really hard not to ruin the moment by dropping F-bombs while liberating her gifts from their packaging. (Seriously? What the fuck is up with those wire ties? Are the powers that be afraid that an army of toys will escape and take over the world? Color me confused.)
Arlo also enjoyed his gifts, all of which were essentially expensive chew toys. Sure, his mother was excited they lit up and made noise, but I have a sneaking suspicion he would have been just as happy chewing on a spoon.
Chew toys – not just for dogs.
And what did I get for Christmas, you ask? This is actually the first year where Jay and I felt like we didn’t want or need anything. We had a lot more fun getting things for others. I guess this is what it’s like to be a real live grown-up. Plus, we were saving all our shiny pennies for our Boxing Day purchases. (American friends – Boxing Day is akin to your Black Friday, only I don’t think our sales are quite as good.) For Jay, a Guitar Hero.
I kick mommy’s ass at Guitar Hero. Mommy wishes I were joking.
And for me, a shiny laptop. I love it! I will hug him and kiss him and call him George. And for you techie nerds, I did buy a PC. Yes, I know they’re no longer as cool as Apple, but at twice the price, I just couldn’t make the leap to a Mac.
The best moment during all of Christmas was watching my dad open up one of his gifts. I would show you this very moment on video, if I weren’t a total dumb ass who neglects to push the record button on her bloody camera. Before I tell you what my dad got, I will say that it was from my mom. My mom who is not an extravagant spender and is not usually one to plan huge surprises. So, when Elliot opened up a box for my dad that contained a balled-up washcloth, he was perplexed. His confusion continued when he pulled keys out of the cloth. “What is this?” he asked. My mother could barely contain herself, having barely slept for the past few weeks. She jumped up, with her arms in the air in the trademark Price Is Right stance, and squealed, “I BOUGHT YOU A HONDA FIT!” My dad just kept staring at the keys and saying, “What? Are you serious? Holy shit.”
We all went out to see the car on the side of the house. My brother had snuck out of the house to retrieve it from its hiding spot in the neighbor’s shed. My dad was thrilled. He’s been driving a gas-guzzling truck to work and kept talking about getting a smaller car.
And how was your Christmas? I hope there was much eating (and growing lengthwise – my scale is currently on a time-out in the closet) and fun family times. Oh, and Happy New Year! Have a drink (or five) for me, please and I’ll return the favor.
Oh, and if you’re not tired of looking at my children yet, I’ll close with two more random pics from Christmas Day…
Christmas was superb thanks to our whole “fan damly” The Princess and Sir Chewer were the icing on the cake. Too bad you missed a picture of your Mom. I can just imagine a wee model of her jumping for joy on top of the cake.
The kids are so cute! I’m glad you guys had a great Christmas and I’m totally jealous of the new laptop, PC or not
Hey, my Jay got Guitar Hero too. And that game is strangely addictive. I have to admit!
Oh, I know what you mean about those darn twisty thingys. I’ve actually dragged out tools in my attempts to free toys from their packaging.
Sounds like a wonderful holiday! I bet your dad’s expression was priceless.
I want to be a guitar hero! WAH!
Glad you had a great Christmas!
Before Christmas we get a babysitter and my mom comes over and helps to remove all the wire ties and then we wrap the presents sans the ties. Saves so much time and cursing on Christmas morning!
Happy New Year!!
I will love him and squeeze him and call him George.
LMAO.
I love Looney Toons.
Holy crap!!! A car?? They is the greatest gift ever! I mean for Arlo it wouldnt hold a candle to those glowy chew toys but I guess it is all relative!
Looks like a lovely time was had by all!
My scale came out of time out today. Bad idea. Five pounds! And I didn’t even have any egg nog! Oi!
Yay for all of you! What a great gift for your Dad, how exciting!
Thank you for including many pics of those adorable cuties!
Wish I could come over tonight and play Guitar Hero with you! You would kick my ass.
Oh, how I long to jam on a guitar. Since I always beat my husband at the racing games, I’d love to challenge him to a guitar-off.
You certainly got some cuties there. Eliot and Arlo look to have had a delightful Christmas!
And oh my, a car? What an awesome gift.
oh! I just posted about how much I love it when the little gals want to marry their mums!
The kids are so cute and I really may take the photo to my hairdresser to get Eliot’s haircut. I don’t think I could pull it off but she rocks it!
So cute!
Happy New Year!
Hello, George. Welcome to the world of blogs. I’m sure you’ll love it here.
And I hate those wire ties. Let’s start a petition to banish them forever. Mommies unite!
Maybe I should call my new laptop Fred. Never actually occured to me to name it, even though it has become an appendage akin to my cell phone! I love your kid pictures, you really should post them more often!
A laptop! Wow!
Sounds like a great Christmas!
Happy new year to you!
Those f’ing wire ties almost ruined Christmas. I swear, my mom trying to open Z’s first gift stopped everything for far too long. And the toys are made with special hooks in the back to accommodate these wire ties?! I so don’t get it.
I had a few drinks for you last night. A few hundred. Ouch!
Happy New Year.
Your children are glorious and I loved seeing them this Christmas (and you and Hubby!). Thank you for some wonderful reading in 2007!
I think that toy packaging is designed by men, so that they can use their tools to open them. Dave got just such a gadget in his stocking – perhaps I will regift it to Jason next Christmas, as our kids are into electronic toys now…..the ones that keep Dads on the call center help lines somewhere in Indonesia, for 3 hours on Christmas day.
Much Love
Me
You can tell Elliot that SHE’S ON! I will kick her preschool butt in Guitar Hero from here till Tuesday!
Sorry, I have to pick on preschool kids because I can’ t beat anyone over 1st grade.
Great pictures!
Seriously…what the fuck is wrong with the toy people and placing those wire ties in there? I’m pretty sure they don’t even want the toy removed from the box judging by the extreme measures they go to secure it. The only thing worse than that is when a toy takes 2 hours and a toolbox to put together. I’m pretty sure that on Christmas morning a company could form that comes to houses to remove toys from packaging, put them together, and make a fortune just from working on Christmas day! haha
Ya that’s it Kips, regift the gift I stood in line for 20 minutes to get for my boyfriend. Harumph!
Sounds like you guys had a great time! A car? Wow. And a laptop – I wouldn’t have been jealous, but now that mine is completely dead, I am green with envy, even though it’s not a mac.
Happy New Year!
Seriously adorable pics – too cute.
I also have to say that Jeff and I are at the point of hey we really don’t need anything (not saying presents aren’t good…) but really, i got everything I need (and sooooo much more…)