After a day of running errands and shopping, Elliot insisted on going for a long walk. Jason asked her permission to go shopping by himself. She refused, of course. He decided to go anyway. She forgave him as she has a soft spot for daddy. As Elliot, Arlo and I set about on our walk we had this conversation:
Elliot: Daddy can go by himself ‘cuz he’s a man.
Me: Oh, is that why he can go by himself?
Elliot: Yes.
Me: So what am I?
Elliot: You a woman.
Me: So can I go somewhere by myself?
Elliot: Looking at me like I’m a ridiculous simpleton. Nope. You just have to go everywhere with me and Arlo.
*****************
Nice, no? Now if you’ll excuse me, I must get the husband’s scotch on the rocks prepared for when he returns home from a rough day at the office. Oh, and I really must cook a large roast and bake an angel food cake. While barefoot (but thankfully not pregnant).
Oh, and feel free to leave your kids’ theories about the differences between men and women in the comments. You know, besides the obvious penis vs. vagina thing.
Punky is just focused on the penis/vagina thing. I’m the “odd man out” as it were.
My boys can’t quite get their heads around the fact that mommy might have once played sports–and possibly has a clue about how the sport is played. I have to remind them constantly that I too played little league (the first girl in my hometown I might add).
Fortunately, we haven’t reached the point of really distinguishing between men and women. However, I have noticed that the Toddler refers to everyone as “she.” I’ll hear, “She said . . .” and “She run . . . ” Never “He.” So I guess the Toddler is just refusing to acknowledge that boys exist.
Ava knows that Daddy has “big muscles” so he can carry her around. I humor her cause she’s a handful.
Oh dear. You have a lot of work to do! Hope Jay enjoys his roast.
My son would say the difference is mommies have pretty hair and are mean and daddies have short hair and are nice. Guess who does the discipline in our house…
One time I told Parke that Obi Wan Kenobi ironed his clothes. Parker told me, very seriously mind you, that boys didn’t iron. Only girls.
You better believe the next time Payton’s school uniforms needed ironing, Wally did it and Parker saw it.
Oh honey, you don’t stay barefoot. You dress up in your skirt, heels and pearls while you cook the roast and mix that scotch.
“You a woman”
AAAAGGGHHH!!
I am horrified but I am laughing. This totally sounds like CJ, who frequently informs that I can ONLY like pink. Ugh. Little brats.
I made an angel food cake yesterday.
I had socks on though.
Miss E told me recently ‘You can’t play foot ball out here with us Mommy, your work is in the house’.
I was too depressed about it even to blog it!
Elliot is an observant chica – she knows no mommy gets to go far without her kiddos in tow
Right now the only thing Riley is aware of is…I have boob and daddy is a boob
Fortunately, Addy is too little to have made many of these sorts of observations. I do remember while babysitting for my nephews though, that they were fixated on my breasts and found them both fascinating and also, inexplicably, hilarious. They would point with wonder and laugh, “Breast! Breasts make milk! Bwah hah hah!”
My five year old has an interesting take on things. She has decided that when she “is gwown up awl you have to do mummy is drive me awound and pay fow stuff” If she didn’t have the cutest little Boston accent, I would have been annoyed. Cuter still that she is convinced that her baby brother’s penis will fall off when he gets bigger.
Burn that child’s underoos, post haste!
(or buy her a weensy little training bra and burn that)
When something is broken my son will say “daddy will fix it when he gets home” to which I reply “Mama will fix it RIGHT NOW”.
Awesome, I can see that she’s really got you figured out! That husband of yours is a real slave driver, huh?
I love how she says, “You a woman,” not you ARE a woman – sounds so much more primitive that way.
Har! Just wait. You can remind her of her stereotypical thoughts when she is a teen…
I do hope you are keeping a backup of all these posts that you can one day publish in a book. It would be much easier for her to peruse one day.
Well apparently The Chicken thinks you only *need* a husband if you are going to have kids. Since she has come to the realization that Mom really isn’t out to give her a miserable childhood and there may be some logic behind her rules she has decided that she isn’t going to have children, just some pets…the pets that we horrible ogre like parents won’t let her have. And since she will only have pets and no children “I don’t need me a husband, what good is he if he isn’t going to help get me kids?” She was 9 at the time, not sure if she knows exactly how guys help get you kids. But hubby works a lot and I do lots on my own, so I guess she figures if she doesn’t have kids she doesn’t need a dad, since that must be the only reason I stay home…to cater to her and her sister’s every beck and call….*g* (speaking of which must make dinner…I hate day light savings time)
The V-meister thinks that only Daddy’s know how to replace the batteries in loud, obnoxious toys that have run out of juice.
Hahahahahahahahaha!
P.S. My circa 1950 Betty Crocker Cookbook advises to keep a tube of lipstick in the fridge so you can start freshening up the minute you see your man pulling up in the drivway.
Hahahahahahahahaha!
oh too funny
i so look forward to hearing the bean’s take on the difference between mommy and daddy one day!
She’s not even two yet, but my daughter has come to the conclusion that everything blue is “Daddy’s.”
Daddy is tired of collecting little blue things in his pocket.
Elliot and I have to have a very serious talk.
Don’t forget to put on your heels and pearls before your husband comes home!
My son thinks I am incapable of fixing broken toys or replacing batteries. When one of his trains needs a new battery, he brings it to me and tells me that Daddy needs to get a new battery for it. When I tell him I can do it, he says that only Daddies can do that. Obviously we have some work to do on gender roles.
Whenever anything is broken in our house my two year old will say “Daddy will fix it!” even if all it needs is new batteries. If I try to fix something she gets mad at me and says “No mama! Fixing is for Daddy!” (I just read the other comments and I see we’re not alone here.)
My son told me the other day that he was glad he wasn’t a woman. When I asked why he said “Because women have to get pregnant and have things like babies come out of their privates.” Well, he’s got me there.
According to my kids, the difference between Mom and Dad — Mom is in charge!
My husband will tell the kids something like their having pizza for dinner or they can stay up late to watch a movie and the kids will say “Did you ask mom if it was okay?”
I think instead of being barefoot you should be in excruciatingly narrow high heels. And a cinched apron over your outfit. Men like that.
Also, make sure you give the kids Benadryl chasers after lunch so they are approriately subdued and quiet for when daddy comes home. They like that, too.
I love the penis/vagina answer because sometimes it should be the only obvious difference for the next generation in terms of what they can achieve. There is plenty of time to figure out that women are smarter too…..:) (joke, joke)
First of all; I loved Clink and Julie’s comments the best – thanks for the laugh so needed today! I don’t really remember any Man Woman comments when my kids were young, but I will always remember their most recent observation (they are now 13 and 14):
KIDS: “Dad, you sure drink a lot of beer.”
ME: “Well you might have noticed that I drink a lot of wine.”
KIDS: “But Mom, that’s your job.
And has anyone heard about the “pink job/blue job” expression? As in, I told a gal pal once that I put up the Christmas lights that day…you know, outside, with a ladder. She said, “isn’t that a Blue Job?” I felt like saying, “Do you really like the Pink Jobs like laundry and meals?”
Times like these that I am happy to remind myself that it’s My Job to drink wine….who’s with me?
Just try not to chug the scotch you so lovingly prepared before he gets home.
I got your back Kips! Scarley used to say, “Daddies, they just wander off!”
that’s hilarious!
i love when kids come up with things like this. love.
We have a mattress in our garage (used to be in our guest room but we no longer have one because we have too many kids…I mean because of our lovely kids , ahem). My son asked me if I could bring it upstairs for him. NOt sure why and not wanting to I said “No it doesn’t need to go upstairs, you’ve already got one on your bed”
He then said, “I’ll go ask Daddy, he’s stronger” “Daddies are always stronger.
(uh alrighty then)
My 11-year-old son had a dinnertime theory that BOYS are inherently “Manipulative” instead of girls.
My husband started choking on his food while I shot him looks of “You WILL be sleeping on the couch if you pipe up, bud!”
After I voted in the primary last month, I was explaining to my daughter who I had voted for, and who else was in the running to be president. She was astonished that we had never had a woman president (we discussed Barack Obama, also, but her 7-year-old attention focused in on Clinton).
I said, “Remember how I told you that women can do any job that men can do?”
“Yes,” she answered, and nodded with enthusiasm. I was sure my point had found its mark.
Her next comment was further proof of this.
“Yeah, Mommy, they can even be skateboarders!”
We’re on our way, girls. Nothing can stop us now!
Well according to Dr. Laura, women are also responsible for their husband’s infidelity, so you can add that to your list!
My husband is always stronger, has more muscles, and is capable of driving better than I am. Alas, I have reinforced this in a way by pushing off things my kids want me to do until my husband gets home.
What to do, what to do.
Nothing yet as my munchkins are only 2, but I loved that and can’t wait for when my kids are clever like that
I’m looking forward for when my kids say silly things like that. So funny.